How much has my desire to be alone influenced the failed relationship between me and a woman who was trying to flee from it? She wrote about it and this is my answer.

Over the course of the last four years, I created a series of photographs, which were at first independent of each other. They were taken in different places and at different times in life. However, there is this strange connection that holds these images together. Is it a feeling, or a person? I think it’s both. On the one hand, it’s a feeling that has been with me ever since I can remember. Something I’m always searching for, but that I can’t share with anyone. Being alone. A state of rest that allows me to think clearly. On the other hand, there is the failed relationship with a person who thinks that being alone is something horrible. Something that captures and crushes her. Could this relationship have even worked out in the long run? And how much did my need to be alone affect it? She wrote about it.
A text and this book is my answer.

And as I was standing there and my inner self was torn apart from a feeling that occurred to me from time to time I realised that I was alone.

The concentration on the essentials, breathing, being, behaving suddenly became increasingly small.

There is an area in my body which I tent to forget when I am not alone. It’s an area in which a great, grey being lives.

I think it’s neither edgy nor cold but it’s pressuring. When I’m alone it expands in this space between chest and chin. It’s just there and consumes my air.

And because I can’t do anything about it – except waiting – I wait.

I’m always on the search for it and when I couldn’t find it for a long time I realise that you aren’t able to help me.

Not before it appeares my thoughts can focus on the togetherness, on you and I’m able to breath.

There is something that I desire when I’m not alone. It only surrounds me and I believe it’s invisible when you are around.

Only when I’m alone you are able to see it. It expands in your body between chest and chin. It’s just there and consumes your air.

And because I can’t do anything about it – except enjoying – I enjoy.

The book is encased in a red-laminated slipcase; the cover and spine were printed in white ink on matte, red cardstock. The 16 + 4 books were produced with an adhesive binding. At the German Photo Book Award 2019 »für uns für sich« was placed on the »Shortlist« and will be shown in the coming period with the award winners and those of the »Longlist« in several places in Germany and abroad.